letting go

It’s been a milestone week for our family. Not really because of the house project, but because we sent our first born to his first day of high school. And it struck me how the house project and our life are triggering parallel emotions. The ongoing process of letting go.

Just five minutes after seeing my freshman ride down the street to new experiences, new friends, and new challenges, the crew came to tear off the back of our house. When the truck drives up and the sledgehammers come out, you have no choice but to let go. Same as when your 5’10” baby puts on the backpack and doesn’t look back.

We prepared for the week by packing up our kitchen, office, closets, basement and all that stuff that we forgot we had. We tried to think through what we’d need over the next 4 or 5 or 6 months, but then we’d get tired and just dump stuff in boxes willy-nilly. We packed it in every nook and cranny we could find, leaving us Jenga towers of boxes in random places. It’s like the few weeks before moving day, except that a few weeks will be half a year.

IMG_0776The hardest part was to say goodbye (for now) to all the cookbooks, platters, plates and tools we use to cook and share meals with friends and family. A bigger, better place to cook and entertain is a major reason for the remodel, but this will be the longest I’ve ever gone without planning and hosting a dinner party or casual dinner for friends. I feel serious withdrawal coming on. As Summer and Fall turn into the holiday season, I’ll need another way to satisfy the craving to make memories around a table and a meal. And I may need to find a kitchen to rent for my multi-day Christmas cookie bake-a-thon.

So, letting go (not Frozen’s “Let it Go”) is becoming my internal mantra. Sometimes I’m pretty impressed with my ability to look beyond the makeshift kitchen, messy rooms and dusty counters. So much so that Colby was shocked I didn’t have any comment about the clothes on his bedroom floor. I had not been abducted by aliens, but suddenly the clothes on the floor were the least of our challenges. Other times, well, let’s just say that it’s a mantra for a reason — because I need reminding. And when power was out in most of the house for two days, the mantra did me no good. It also didn’t stop me from lecturing the kids to stop their whining and complaining and appreciate all that we have, even without TV or Wifi for a day or so.

Privilege is alive and well at 602 – and so is not always practicing what I preach. I hope this project will have a nice side benefit of building resilience, patience, and gratitude for all of us. You can never have enough of those three.

We did let go of a lot of our house this week. The white office door now opens to nothing. The basement was jackhammered for a full day on Saturday (yes – working on a weekend!) The basement and kitchen walls are plywood. But we still haven’t lost the working part of our kitchen yet — even though it was all packed away in preparation for the demo. The weather continues to cooperate, for which we are extremely thankful.

This coming week will see more transformation as basement floor gets poured and they prepare to frame. And I’ll be anxiously awaiting what we need to prepare to let go of next.

But it won’t be this guy…since Lincoln also started a new school year this week. Grade 4 and his last year of elementary school.

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4 Comments

  1. I just said aloud on the porch swing tonight….”I wonder how the LUNDAK house is doing!?” Thanks – now we know! Kudos to all and……I cannot imagine doing what you guys are doing. 😳Xxx

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  2. Amen and amen to all you expressed. Letting go is only proximity and the familiar. You never really let go,even when a loved one is no longer in sight.

    Love you brave daughter.
    Dad

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